Sucks to Ziggy Haphwyt.
by Alan Smithee
Summary: ALAN SMITHEE'S GREATEST HITS: The first fic I ever posted here, moreover, the reason I found this place in the first place. A definite good thing to see if you're down with the A.S. tip.


Legion of Super-Heroes Fanscript: "Sucks to Ziggy Haphwyt."  
  
Time Taking Place: Right after "2 Sider."  
  
Most of these characters aren't the writer's creations. This isn't as needed as a warning, but the writer doesn't want to get sued by The Man.   
  
If you have any criticism on this work, send it to ReLect0@aol.com. If you feel the need to flame this work, I got two words for you, SUCK IT!   
  
Anything else? Oh, yeah. Don't do drugs. Unless it is for good reasons.Ah, screw that, Smoke crack and worship Satan.   
  
Page one, panel one. Chameleon's room. You see that it's extremely messy. A paper lies on a desk that's surprisingly clean in the mess. The covers are roughshod, as if someone's been in them for a few days.  
  
Top of panel:  
  
Five Days Later...  
  
Page one, panel two. Invisible Kid and Boombastic are in the doorway.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
Why'dja need me here for?  
  
1,3. Invisible Kid is trying to explain.  
  
Invisible Kid:  
  
Well, he's been like this for about a week. Ever since Ayla left him, he hasn't gotten out of bed.  
  
1,4. Boombastic is quizzical.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
And this affects me how...?  
  
1,5.  
  
Invisible Kid:  
  
I just need you to hang out with me and him for a little bit. You know, so we can help him get better, or at least drunk enough so he doesn't care anymore.  
  
1,6. Boombastic puts on his rendition of the People's Eyebrow.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
Are you trying to hit on me?   
  
1,7. Invisible Kid looks shocked at that accusation.  
  
Invisible Kid:  
  
Whatever do you mean?  
  
1,8. Boombastic looks angry.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
DID YOU GRAB MY ASS?  
  
1,9.Invisible Kid looks angry.  
  
Invisible Kid:  
  
Dude, it is physically impossible for me to grab your ass from here. Let's just do this.  
  
Bottom of panel:  
  
I thought that this would be a normal time. We hang out, get wasted, Cham's back to normal.  
  
2-3. An area laid to waste in some Coipel-like big mess. (For the rest of the issue unless noted: POV: Invisible Kid.)  
  
Top:  
  
I should've asked Stefan what Shane uses as his definition of fun.  
  
Side(2):  
  
INVISIBLE KID:  
  
Name:Lyle Norg.  
Powers: Turns invisible, narrator of our little shin-dig.  
  
CHAMELEON:  
  
Name: Reep Daggle.  
Powers: Shape-shifting.  
  
BOOMBASTIC:  
  
Name:Shane Matzner.  
Powers: Nigh-invulnerability, ability to shoot out green flames, immortality, copying/amplifying other's powers.  
  
KID PSYCHO:  
  
Name: Bil Cone.  
Powers: Telekinesis.  
  
Side(3) :  
  
POWERTRIP GIRL:  
  
Name: Kat Pre.  
Powers: Rage-induced radioactivity.  
  
CORNELL:  
  
Name: Jocelyn Kent.  
Powers: Nigh-invincibility and ability to make others invincible for short periods of time.  
  
THROWBACK LASS  
  
Name: Melissa Prince.  
Powers: Can divert or repel the route of any attack.  
  
  
4,1.   
Top:  
  
It started out innocently enough...  
  
Boombastic shakes Chameleon's bed.   
  
Boombastic:  
  
Dude! Wake up!   
  
Chameleon:  
  
Don't wanna. Ayla's up. Could see her.  
  
4,2. Boombastic has an idea.   
  
Boombastic:  
  
Cham! There's a brunette in here who wants your body bad! Says if you get up, they'll roger you roundly till the break of dawn!  
  
4,3. Chameleon tries to associate that.  
  
Chameleon:  
  
If you're lying, I'll...  
  
4,4. Universal POV. Invisible Kid looks impatient.  
  
Invisible Kid:  
  
Hey, dude! Get up.  
  
4,5.Chameleon is angry.  
  
Chameleon:  
  
Shane, you sick sprock. I'll shiv you for this one. Well, as long as I'm up, let's go.  
  
4,6. Boombastic looks like he's pretending to care. Chameleon looks shaken.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
If all else fails, just tell us a few stories about your time together. It'll help loosen you up.  
  
Chameleon:  
  
Well, I don't have any stories...  
  
4,7. Cham and Boombastic are in the front seat of a car. We see it from the back seat. Fast food wrappers are strewn around.  
  
Chameleon:  
  
So, then I change into this donkey, right? And she's cool, possibly a little hot for it, starts getting into it...  
  
4,8.Boombastic looks miffed.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
Save it, donkey boy. Do you want this read by guys in raincoats?  
  
4,9. Chameleon looks penitent.  
  
Chameleon:  
  
I'll be good.  
  
5,1. You see them going toward a huge mall.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
Well, here we are. A total monument to consumerism and corruption.  
  
5,2. Cham and Boombastic go in.  
  
Top:  
  
Why wasn't I totally worried at this point?  
  
Chameleon:  
  
Why did you bring me here?  
  
5,3.   
  
Boombastic:  
  
Come on. Lighten up. If you feel down, just find someplace where everyone will feel how you do.  
  
5,4. You see Chameleon head for the top window.Boombastic looks mad.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
NOT THERE.  
  
5,5. You see Chameleon and Boombastic just hanging out.  
  
Top:  
  
Oh crap. It's one of Boombastic's friends. Now stuff's going to happen.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
Hey, Psycho!  
  
5,6. You see Kid Psycho come by.  
  
KID PSYCHO:  
  
T-Gunz! I needed to talk to you!  
  
5,7. Boombastic looks slightly worried.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
Did you wreck my cruiser?  
  
5,8.   
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
Um, no.  
  
5,9.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
Well, what's the real problem?  
  
6,1. Kid Psycho looks worried.  
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
There's a group of crazed Afta Boys possessing our teammates. Luckily, I don't go into Afta's lair, so I was free.  
  
6,2.Chameleon looks angry.  
  
Chameleon:  
  
If this issue's a rehash of the Blight I am going to be VERY upset.  
  
6,3.  
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
We need your help. Kat, Jocelyn, Melissa, they've been captured!  
  
6,4. Boombastic looks uninterested.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
Good for them. Kat's a bit of a pill, but they'll get used to her.  
  
6,5. Kid Psycho gets antsy.  
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
COME ON! They owe me 50 creds! I need it to go see Gimme That Chew Toy!  
  
6,6. Boombastic looks at the others.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
Whaddaya say. If you wanna go help kick these Afta Boys' asses, gimme a HELL YEAH!  
  
6,7.POV: Boombastic. Chameleon and Invisible Kid don't look too excited.  
  
Both:  
  
Um, hell yeah?  
  
6,8. POV: Invisible Kid.  
Top:  
  
I should've never said that.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
Where are they?   
  
6,9.   
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
They're stuck in Purgatory and Limbo. If they make them put their clothes on, they're doomed to become one with their inherently evil forces.  
  
7,1.   
  
Boombastic:  
  
Well, we'll save the lovely damsels, possibly allowing them to give it up to us afterwards, or destroy the place in the process!  
  
7,2:  
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
EXCELLENT!  
  
7,3.  
  
Top:  
  
I really should leave about now. Unfortunately, I really want to see what happens.  
  
7,4.   
  
Boombastic:  
  
Now, first things first. Which level is Purgatory at here?  
  
7,5.  
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
Second floor. Near the kiosk that sells cheesy plaques of famous sports stars.  
  
7,6. Boombastic looks scared.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
We had best get over there. If those Afta Boys get those three in their ranks, we're doomed.  
  
7,7. Kid Psycho looks scared as well.  
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
Well, I would say that again. If three Subs and a Legionnaire are in their ranks, they would be unstoppable.  
  
7,8. Boombastic is quite shocked at that.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
Exsqueeze me? Baking Powder? You said the names of only three Subs. No Legionnaires there.  
  
7,9. Kid Psycho looks like he knows something.  
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
Come on. We all know you've got it bad for Cornell. You wouldn't be able to risk hurting her.  
  
8,1. Boombastic tries hard not to laugh while kicking his cockiness up to notches previously unused in peacetime.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
HUH? This is news to me. This is Shane Matzner here. You know, Boombastic? Most eligible man on the Legion, has his choice of any female in United Planets territory....  
  
8,2. Kid Psycho butts in while he's in his monologue.  
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
But has already made his choice, and she is little miss Jocelyn Kent. Don't lie here. We'll get a telepath in on this.  
  
8,3. Boombastic tries to change the subject.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
Are we going to argue all this time about these rumors, or are we going to save our friends?  
  
8,4.   
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
Okay. We'll get going. But we all know that when push comes to shove, you won't have the bon-bons to fight her.  
  
8,5. Chameleon comes over to Boombastic.  
  
Chameleon:  
  
What was that all about?  
  
8,6.Boombastic tries to hide how he's feeling.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
Just one of my friends ragging on me.  
  
8,7. Chameleon looks like he knows.  
  
Chameleon:  
  
I dunno, it sounded like Somebody has a vested interest in this battle.  
  
8,8. Boombastic looks miffed.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
FOR THE LAST TIME, I DON'T HAVE A VESTED INTEREST IN THIS ONE!  
  
8,9. Chameleon tries to reason with him.  
  
Chameleon:  
  
Come on, man. It's nothing. When the Blight hit, I nearly had to fight Ayla. It's part of the job.  
  
9,1.   
  
Boombastic:  
  
Well, did you?  
  
9,2.   
  
Chameleon:  
  
Well, no, but if it came down to it, I would have had to. It comes with the territory. You aren't a Sub anymore, where you could pick and choose more often. You're on the big squad. Whatever the Legion is needed for is what you have to do.  
  
9,3.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
But there's no vested interest.  
  
9,4.   
  
Chameleon:  
  
Well, if you say so, then I'll believe you. We'll just visit Imra after we get back and have her read your mind.  
  
9,5. Boombastic pales.  
  
9,6. Boombastic runs.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
TOAD ME! TOAD ME!  
  
POV: Outside of it. Invisible Kid and Chameleon are talking.  
  
9,7.  
  
Invisible Kid:  
  
What was that?  
  
9,8.   
  
Chameleon:  
  
You know, just a reflection of myself doing Mach 7 in Payless sneakers.  
  
9,9.   
  
Invisible Kid:  
  
Let's go see these. They'll probably need our help.  
  
10,1. Kid Psycho and Boombastic get to the front of Purgatory and Limbo.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
Have you ever gotten that feeling that you're in the presence of pure evil?  
  
10,2.  
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
I'm getting that feeling right now.  
  
10,3.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
Where's the sign? I thought it's supposed to say "Abandon all hope ye who enter here" at the top.  
  
10,4.  
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
Let's just go in.   
  
10,5. They enter. You see a lot of clothes on the walls.  
  
10,6. Invisible Kid and Chameleon enter.  
  
Invisible Kid:   
  
Cham, change into a human form. Find the others. Meet me here.  
  
10,7.  
  
Chameleon:  
  
Gotcha.  
  
10,8. Chameleon(in Caucasian human form) goes over to Kid Psycho and Boombastic.  
  
Chameleon:  
  
Come on, you two.  
  
10,9.   
  
Boombastic:  
  
Cham?  
  
11,1.   
  
Chameleon:  
  
Let's go.  
  
11,2. The 4 huddle up.  
  
Invisible Kid:  
  
Well, does anyone have any ideas?  
  
11,3.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
Me and Psycho thought of something. Cham keeps human form and comes with us while we look for them. You pose as a customer and try and buy something to lure the Aftas out. We would have done it, but wearing this stuff is guaranteed to make you a total snog. Hence, we figured you could do that.  
  
11,4.  
  
Invisible Kid:  
  
WHY DID YOU SUPPOSE I'D DO THE SNOG JOB? Eh,I'll take it.Give me something to do.  
  
11,5. Invisible Kid looks for some clothes while the others leave.  
  
11,6. An AFTA Boy comes out.  
  
AFTA:  
  
Can I help you?  
  
11,7. Invisible Kid holds up replicas of the preboot costumes of IK I and II.  
  
Invisible Kid:   
  
Yes, which of these do you think would make me look more pret-ty?  
  
11,8.   
  
AFTA:  
  
Definitely the yellow and black number. It just looks saner.   
  
11,9.   
  
Invisible Kid :  
  
Okay.  
  
12,1. IK turns invisible and wraps the costume around the AFTA boy's head.  
  
Invisible Kid:  
  
You know, you're right. It does work for what I needed it to do.  
  
12,2. Invisible Kid writes in the Omnicom.  
  
Report: Invisible Kid. The AFTA boy was surprisingly weak. I hope the others are having as little trouble as I did.  
  
12,3. Boombastic gets peeved.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
Where are they? I want to spend as little time as possible here!  
  
12,4.  
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
Just wait. Trying to find three teenage girls in a Purgatory and Limbo is like trying to find a needle on a needle place thingy!  
  
12,5.   
  
Boombastic:  
  
Just lipsynch to the music up there. Hopefully, we're attractive enough to pass as a boy band.   
  
12,6. The three try to lipsynch to them.  
  
12,7. Teenage girls are rushing toward them.  
  
Teen 1:  
  
I have a strange urge to go buy their album.  
  
Teen 2:  
  
You haven't yet?  
  
12,8. You see Powertrip, Throwback,and Cornell.  
  
Throwback:  
  
We can destroy these people. Just follow the command. Luckily, I know their weaknesses. I will take the small one. Kat, you take the alien, that leaves you with the armored one.  
  
12,9.   
  
All three:  
  
Gotcha.   
  
13,1.   
  
Throwback:  
  
Bil! Bil! I need your help! Help me!  
  
13,2.  
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
Phew. Now, to get our friends back.   
  
13,3.   
  
Throwback:  
  
I see you are trying to free the messenger.  
  
13,4.  
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
Look. Peddle your evil on someone else, MAN!  
  
13,5.  
  
Throwback:  
  
Why should I bother? You can't do anything.  
  
13,6.  
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
What are you talking about?  
  
13,7.  
  
Throwback:  
  
Your powers are useless against it. You tried using them against someone to join the Legion, and you failed.You're not good enough.  
  
13,8.  
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
You think so? I'll smoke you like a fat chronic blunt.  
  
13,9. Kid Psycho mentally picks up one of those hangers they use at clothing stores.  
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
PUNK ROCK!  
  
14,1-2. You see Throwback and Kid Psycho fight to get it to the other side.   
  
14,3. The hanger hits Throwback.  
  
14,4. Kid Psycho uses some form of walkie-talkie(much more futuristic.)  
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
I had to knock her out, but she's safe. I'll take her clothes off. You guys kick some ass.  
  
14,5. Chameleon goes to get Powertrip.  
  
Chameleon:  
  
Come on. I need to free you so we can leave this popsicle stand.  
  
14,6.   
  
Powertrip:  
  
For what? So you can go home to your girl, oh, I forgot, she dropped you like a bad habit!   
  
14,7. Chameleon looks like he's fighting back tears.  
  
Chameleon:  
  
I will free you from this. It's that clothing.  
  
14,8.  
  
Powertrip:  
  
Say, I look a little like her. Maybe I could take that, oh wait. I DON'T DATE DURLANS.  
  
14,9. Chameleon turns into a large alien being. You see him in mid-change.  
  
Chameleon:  
  
Ah,yes. The Radiation Beast. Born to live in Medip's vastly radioactive lands. HUGE CLAWS. Bring the pain!  
  
15,1. Chameleon-Radiation Beast rips the clothing off of Powertrip.  
  
15,2.   
  
Powertrip:  
  
Whoa. Where am I? Last I remember, I was coming in to look at the clothes, and...  
  
15,3.  
  
Chameleon:  
  
Yeah, yeah, you were possessed by the demons inherent in all Purgatory clothing. Your friends were too. Melissa was freed by Kid Psycho. Jocelyn was sent to fight Boombastic.  
  
15,4.Powertrip looks like she's ordering Chameleon to do something.  
  
Powertrip:  
  
GET THE OTHERS OVER THERE ASAP. Get back-up if at all possible. DO EET.  
  
15,5.   
  
Chameleon:  
  
Why? If the Legion of Super-Heroes didn't have the utmost faith in Shane, he'd still be with you guys. He'll get your friend freed.  
  
15,6.Powertrip has an appearance that is a little like one of those Professor-types.  
  
Powertrip:  
  
There's a few problems with that.  
  
One: Shane's main power, or at least the one that would work the best to get the clothing off, works by projecting a green flame at the intended target. If you send a flame toward someone, you risk burning them.  
Two: Shane's totally in love with Jocelyn. He'd never risk hurting her, even if it might eliminate the possession. Not only that, but his feelings might just warp him into wearing the demonic garb.  
Three:Knowing their power like I do, I don't think we want to risk those two in Purgatory gear alone.  
  
15,7.   
  
Chameleon:  
  
This is totally bad. Let's go over quickly.  
  
15,8.Throwback comes over to them.  
  
Throwback:  
  
Did I miss anything?  
  
15,9.  
  
Powertrip:  
  
Nothing much. Just that your demon-addled mind sent Jocelyn over to take out one of our only hopes to save her own life. Let's get over there to stop it.  
  
16,1. POV: Boombastic.  
  
Top:  
  
Come on, man. Get a hold of yourself. Think about it. It's just another battle. There's always that risk that you may have had to do something like this. It's the present danger thing.  
  
16,2. Cornell walks over there.  
  
Top:  
  
YEAH, RIGHT. I can't do this.  
  
16,3. Cornell takes a shirt from a rack.  
  
Top:  
  
Come on. If you do this, it will save her from possession. You'll be the hero. You may not get the girl, but it's rare that anyone does.  
  
Cornell:  
  
I know you can't fight me. Just put it on. It will make it all easier for both of us.   
  
16,4.  
  
Top:  
  
Would you rather be with the sweet, beautiful, all around great girl you know and love, or an evil, possessed demon's messenger because you didn't have the cahones to use your power?  
  
Cornell:  
  
Just say "I'll put it on." It'd make me so happy...  
  
16,5. You see Boombastic's mouth open and his hand make the "I love you" sign in sign language.  
  
16,6.   
  
Boombastic:  
  
SMOKE THAT MOTHERSPROCKER LIKE IT AIN'T NO THANG!  
  
16,7. You see him take his good arm and let loose a small Green Flame.(Done in the style like how Spider-Man shoots a web.)  
  
16,8. You see the Green Flame spin around and burn the two shirts.  
  
16,9. Boombastic has on "Generic Keanu Reeves Expression."  
  
Boombastic:  
  
Whoa, I never saw my flames do that before.  
  
17,1.  
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
Well, I figured you could use a Lot of help.   
  
17,2.  
  
Cornell:  
  
Where am I, and why do I have a pile of ash around me?  
  
17,3.  
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
It's a long story. I'll probably tell all of the details next time I get drunk while you're in the vicinity. Who did these things?  
  
17,4.   
  
Cornell:  
  
Last I heard, it was some guy who could laugh for an hour exactly.  
  
17,5.  
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
Whoa. The exact time you can laugh after doing some stuff before people accuse you of doing stuff. This guy's good.  
  
17,6.   
  
Chameleon:  
  
I wouldn't say that...  
  
17,7. In a storage room. Dr.Mayavale is sitting there with some mushrooms.  
  
Dr.Mayavale:  
  
I may have died before from good, and died as the result of evil. But now, if I get unsuspecting teenagers to do my evil through the use of popular poser-wear, I will rule the world! Hmm. I need some shrooms.  
  
17,8. Dr.Mayavale laughs. The heroes enter.  
  
17,9.  
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
Two questions. One, why'd you use Purgatory as a front, and two, How do you manage to laugh for an hour exactly? I need to know this stuff.  
  
18,1.   
  
Dr.Mayavale:  
  
First off, because all the posers who watch their TRL and listen to their teeny-bopper pop would find their way here and buy my second-rate sweatshop-made demon-laden clothes like mad, and secondly, all you have to do is lay off the harder hallucinogens and go with some more off-the-beaten path comedown rock.  
  
18,2.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
Thank you for your help. It was informative and witty. However, you tried to demonically possess unsuspecting trendy kids.  
  
18,3. Kid Psycho tries to let Boombastic know what he's saying.  
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
Um, Shane? Trendy kids are inherently evil and deserve to be possessed. Might make them listen to good stuff.  
  
18,4.   
  
Boombastic:  
  
Well, maybe so. However, you tried to possess our friends. That's just not cool.  
  
18,5.  
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
Ahem. If I may interject, the fact that our lovely co-horts came in here under their own power hints that they're "trendy" as well, which should mean that a certain one may not be a worthy object of a certain Legionnaire's affection.  
  
18,6.  
  
Cornell:  
  
What's that supposed to mean?  
  
18,7.   
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
I'll explain it to you when you're older, or at least when I'm totally tanked. But the point is, I don't think he's done anything wrong.  
  
18,8.   
  
Boombastic:  
  
I guess you're right. Good show, old man.  
  
18,9.  
  
Dr.Mayavale:  
  
But I wa-wa-wanted to cause EEEEVIL!  
  
19,1.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
Maybe the true evil lies in who you were trying to make the evil ones.  
  
19,2.  
  
Throwback:  
  
Ahem. We are definitely not evil.  
  
19,3.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
Well, let's stop this from happening again. Cornell, could you be a dear and make us all invulnerable to my flame so I can torch this place?  
  
19,4.  
  
Cornell:  
  
Right away.  
  
19,5. Boombastic sets the store aflame.   
  
19,6. They all start to run.  
  
19,7. A security guard comes out.  
  
Security Guard:  
  
NOT ON MY WATCH! I'LL GET YOU!  
  
19,8. He fires a gun.  
  
19,9. The bullet goes toward them.  
  
20,1. The bullet hits Chameleon.  
  
20,2. Chameleon's arm is ripped off.  
  
Chameleon:  
  
DAMMIT! I liked having two arms!Now I have to do some troublesome changing all the time!  
  
20,3.   
  
Boombastic:  
  
You'll get used to one arm. All you need to learn is how to wank it, and you'll be fine.  
  
20,4.  
  
Invisible Kid:  
  
Well, we got that settled. Now, let's go to the nearest booze-hall for some beer and vomiting!  
  
20,5.   
  
All:  
  
YEAH! VO-MIT-ING! VO-MIT-ING!  
  
20,6. Kid Psycho notices Dr.Mayavale over by himself looking at the flames.  
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
Hey, this is being wrote near Christmas. We do need a sappy Christmas-styled ending to it. You want to tag along, Dr.Mayavale?  
  
20,7.  
  
Dr.Mayavale:  
  
But of course. I'll give you a list of good stuff to play to get to the one hour mark.  
  
20,8/9.   
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
Excellent!  
  
21,1. Top: Epilogue.   
A local bar. Chameleon, Invisible Kid, and Boombastic are in one booth, Kid Psycho and Dr.Mayavale are in a second, and Throwback, Powertrip,and Cornell are in the third.  
  
21,2.  
  
Chameleon:  
  
I can't believe my luck. I was going to take a leave of absence before today. You know, try to get over her? Then you guys take me around here, and I want to do this hero shiz-nit again. Then I lose my arm, and now I need to go for some medical leave on the Subs. Who are they getting to replace me on the big squad again?  
  
21,3.  
  
Invisible Kid:  
  
Well, after how he showed the extent of his powers today, I think I can railroad Kid Psycho up. May Valor have mercy on us all.  
  
21,4.   
  
Dr.Mayavale:  
  
Basically, you rarely use Zhivago. Use a little Hippie aspirin once you've got it down. Stick to shrooms mostly. Don't play too much of your groove rock or reggae. Some regular stuff would do it just fine.   
  
21,5.   
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
Dr.Mayavale, I am in your debt. I need to go talk to some Subs.You know, tell them I've been called up.  
  
21,6. Kid Psycho goes to talk to the Subs. He definitely has an appearance of being intoxicated.  
  
Powertrip:  
  
So anyway, he tries to rip the stuff off, and I'm like "No way", and he's like, "Way", and then he does, and all of a sudden...Bil! What's up!  
  
21,7.   
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
You know. I'm locked, cocked, and ready for my just-announced call-up to the Legion!  
  
21,8.   
  
Cornell:  
  
Call-up? What's this about?  
  
21,9.   
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
You know,that Cham is being sent down for rehab for a little bit, and they want me to be his replacement on the Legion.  
  
22,(10 panel.)1.  
  
Cornell:  
  
Awesome! Just a few things. Like for instance, WHY YOU? You're cool and all, but you're a sociopath!  
  
22,2.   
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
You know, they saw that my tactile telekinesis had some skill to it in beating Melissa and you down.  
  
22,3.   
  
Cornell:  
  
A-HEM! I thought that Shane was the one who saved me.  
  
  
22,4.   
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
Well, I had to help him get some control on his flame to keep it from burning you.  
  
22,5.  
  
Cornell:  
  
Huh? I'm nigh-invincible! It wouldn't do anything.  
  
22,6.  
  
Kid Psycho:  
  
Well, he needed to be sure. Nothing really big, just that he's been hopelessly in love with you since the moment he saw you.  
  
22,7.   
  
Cornell:  
  
Yeah, let's see. Shane?  
  
22,8. Shane comes over.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
Yeah?  
  
Cornell:  
  
Bil's been talking some nass here about you. Is it true?  
  
22,9.  
  
Boombastic:  
  
Well, I don't really know what he said.   
  
Cornell:  
  
Good enough for me. Let's go back to HQ.  
  
22,10. You see a green,Phoenix-type flame burst forth with a human in the inside of it. On it it says "SPROCK!"  
  



End file.
